Aufruf: The Pre-Wedding Torah Honor

The Sweetest Shabbat

On a Shabbat morning, usually the week before a wedding, something delightful happens in the synagogue. The groom is called to the Torah — just as he has been called many times before. He recites the blessings — the same blessings he learned as a bar mitzvah. Nothing unusual so far.

Then he finishes the blessing. And the room erupts.

Bags of candy fly through the air. Children leap from their seats. Grandmothers reach into purses for carefully wrapped sweets. The groom ducks, laughs, and is pelted with enough confectionery to stock a candy store. The congregation sings Siman Tov u-Mazel Tov, and for a few chaotic, joyful minutes, the dignified synagogue service becomes something closer to a party.

This is the Aufruf — and it is one of the most beloved traditions in Ashkenazi Jewish life.

The Tradition

The word Aufruf (pronounced OOF-roof) is Yiddish for “calling up” — referring to the aliyah, the calling of the groom to the Torah. The custom is rooted in the idea that the Torah reading before a wedding is a spiritual preparation for marriage, a moment of public recognition that this person is about to enter one of life’s most significant covenants.

In traditional practice, the groom receives the maftir aliyah — the final portion of the Torah reading, followed by the Haftarah (prophetic reading). This is considered an honor second only to the Torah blessings at the wedding itself.

After the blessings, a special mi sheberach (prayer of blessing) is recited for the groom, asking God to bless him and his future bride with happiness, health, and prosperity. And then comes the candy.

The candy-throwing custom symbolizes wishes for a sweet marriage. It also adds an element of communal participation — everyone in the synagogue, from the youngest child to the oldest congregant, gets to join in the celebration.

Modern Adaptations

In many Conservative, Reform, and some Modern Orthodox congregations, the Aufruf has expanded to include both the bride and the groom. The couple is called to the Torah together, sharing the aliyah and receiving the community’s blessings as a pair.

This adaptation reflects changing sensibilities about gender equality in worship while preserving the essential elements of the tradition: the Torah honor, the communal blessing, the candy, and the celebration.

Some modern touches that have become common:

• Both families hosting a kiddush: The Aufruf Shabbat typically includes a festive kiddush lunch (or at least enhanced refreshments) sponsored by the couple’s families, giving the community a chance to celebrate together.

• Personal remarks: Rabbis often use the Aufruf as an opportunity to speak about the couple, sharing their story and offering personal blessings.

• Pre-wedding Shabbat dinner: Many families host a Friday night dinner the evening before the Aufruf, gathering family and out-of-town guests who have arrived for the wedding.

• Bride’s parallel celebration: In some communities, the bride has a separate celebration — a Shabbat Kallah — at her own synagogue, with her own community offering blessings and good wishes.

The Shabbat Before the Wedding

The Aufruf Shabbat has a deeper emotional significance than the candy might suggest. In many traditions, the Shabbat before the wedding is the last Shabbat the bride and groom spend apart (if they follow the custom of not seeing each other during the week before the wedding).

It is a moment of transition. The groom stands before his community as a single person for the last time. The Torah reading connects him to the chain of Jewish tradition. The blessings ask for divine guidance in the journey ahead. And the candy — well, the candy reminds everyone that this is supposed to be fun.

For many grooms, the Aufruf is unexpectedly emotional. Standing at the Torah, hearing the blessings, seeing friends and family gathered — it can feel like the first real moment when the approaching wedding becomes tangibly real.

Sephardi Customs

Sephardi and Mizrachi communities have their own pre-wedding Torah customs, though they differ from the Ashkenazi Aufruf:

Shabbat Chatan (Groom’s Shabbat): In many Sephardi communities, the groom is honored with a Torah aliyah on the Shabbat before the wedding. Special piyyutim (liturgical poems) are sung in his honor, often elaborate compositions specific to the community’s musical tradition.

Syrian tradition: The Shabbat Chatan in Syrian communities is a major event, with extensive liturgical poetry, special melodies, and a lavish kiddush.

Moroccan tradition: The groom is honored with an aliyah and may receive a special blessing using a formula specific to Moroccan liturgy.

Henna ceremony: In some Sephardi and Mizrachi communities, the pre-wedding celebration is not a synagogue event but a henna party — an elaborate ceremony where the bride’s hands (and sometimes the groom’s) are decorated with henna paste. This celebration, while not Torah-centered, serves a similar function to the Aufruf: marking the transition to marriage with communal celebration.

The Aliyah and the Aisle

There is a beautiful parallel between the Aufruf and the wedding ceremony. At the Aufruf, the groom ascends — aliyah means “going up” — to the Torah, to receive blessings for his future. At the wedding, the couple ascends to the chuppah, to enter the covenant of marriage.

Both moments involve community. Both involve blessing. Both involve the Torah — literally at the Aufruf, symbolically under the chuppah. The Aufruf is, in effect, the prologue to the wedding — the moment when the community says: “We see you. We bless you. We are with you.”

And then they throw candy at you. Because in Jewish life, even the most sacred moments come with a little sweetness — and a lot of joy.

A Tradition Worth Keeping

In an age when weddings can feel like productions — meticulously planned events with professional coordinators, color-coded timelines, and Instagram photographers — the Aufruf offers something different. It is informal. It is communal. It happens not in a rented venue but in the synagogue where the groom (or couple) davens every week.

The Aufruf says: before the wedding, before the photographer and the florist and the band, there is this — your community, your Torah, your blessings, and a shower of candy. It is not elegant. It is not planned to the last detail. It is joyful, messy, and deeply Jewish.

And then there is kiddush. Because no Jewish celebration is complete without food.