How to Arrange a Jewish Funeral

When Death Occurs

The death of a loved one is overwhelming, and the need to make arrangements quickly — Jewish tradition calls for burial as soon as possible — adds urgency to grief. This guide walks through the practical steps of arranging a Jewish funeral, providing a framework during a time when clear thinking is most difficult.

Immediate Steps

1. Contact a rabbi. If the deceased or the family has a synagogue affiliation, contact the rabbi immediately. The rabbi will guide you through every subsequent step — from ritual preparation to the funeral service to the beginning of mourning. If there is no synagogue connection, many funeral homes that serve the Jewish community can connect you with a rabbi.

2. Contact a Jewish funeral home. Choose a funeral home experienced with Jewish burial customs. They will handle the logistics: obtaining death certificates, coordinating with the cemetery, arranging the time and location of the service, and (if applicable) connecting you with the chevra kadisha.

3. Notify close family members. Before making any public announcements, reach out to immediate family — children, siblings, parents, spouse — personally. Hearing the news from a phone call rather than social media matters.

4. Begin planning the funeral. Jewish tradition calls for burial as quickly as possible — ideally within 24 hours, though delays for practical reasons (travel of close relatives, legal requirements) are common and acceptable.

The Body: Tahara and Preparation

In traditional Jewish practice, the body is treated with extraordinary respect. The chevra kadisha (holy burial society) — a volunteer group of community members — performs tahara, the ritual washing and purification of the body. This is considered among the highest mitzvot because it serves someone who cannot reciprocate.

During tahara, the body is gently washed, purified with flowing water, dried, and dressed in tachrichim — simple white linen shrouds. The shrouds are the same for everyone — rich and poor, learned and unlearned — expressing the equality of all people in death.

Traditional practice avoids embalming and cosmetic preparation. The body is not displayed in an open casket. The Jewish funeral tradition emphasizes simplicity, dignity, and returning the body to the earth as naturally as possible.

Choosing a Casket

Jewish law requires a simple casket made entirely of wood, with no metal hardware. The simplicity serves both theological and practical purposes: the wood allows the body to return to the earth naturally, and the uniform simplicity prevents wealthy families from displaying their status through elaborate coffins.

In Israel, burial without a casket — the body wrapped in a shroud and placed directly in the earth — is standard practice. In the diaspora, a wooden casket is used.

The Funeral Service

A traditional Jewish funeral service includes:

Psalms: Selected psalms are recited or chanted, typically including Psalm 23 (“The Lord is my shepherd”) and Psalm 91.

Hesped (Eulogy): The rabbi and/or family members deliver eulogies remembering the deceased’s life, character, and contributions. The eulogy is meant to honor the dead and comfort the living. Multiple speakers are common.

El Malei Rachamim: The memorial prayer asking God to shelter the soul of the deceased “under the wings of the Divine Presence.”

Keriah (Tearing): Mourners tear a garment or a black ribbon pinned to their clothing. This act of rending — visceral, physical, irreversible — gives outward expression to inner grief. Parents tear on the left (over the heart); for other relatives, the right side.

The service is typically brief — 30-60 minutes — reflecting the tradition of proceeding to burial without unnecessary delay.

The Burial

At the cemetery, the casket is carried to the grave, often with pallbearers pausing seven times along the way (a custom symbolizing reluctance to part with the deceased). The casket is lowered into the earth.

The most powerful moment of a Jewish funeral comes next: family members and friends shovel earth onto the casket. The sound of earth hitting the casket is jarring, final, and real. It is considered the ultimate act of kindness — accompanying the deceased on their final journey. Each person typically places three shovelfuls of earth before passing the shovel (placed back into the earth pile, not handed directly) to the next person.

After the burial, those present form two lines through which the mourners walk, hearing the words: “HaMakom yenachem etchem b’toch sha’ar avelei Tzion v’Yerushalayim” — “May God comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.”

Returning Home: The Beginning of Shiva

After the burial, the mourning family returns home to begin shiva — the seven-day mourning period. A candle is lit that burns for seven days. Friends and community members traditionally prepare a seudat havra’ah (meal of condolence) — the mourner’s first meal after the funeral, which they should not prepare themselves. This meal traditionally includes round foods (eggs, lentils) symbolizing the cycle of life.

Costs and Practical Considerations

Jewish funerals can vary significantly in cost depending on the funeral home, cemetery, and region. Some communities offer free or low-cost burial through the chevra kadisha. Cemetery plots should ideally be purchased in advance. Many synagogues maintain relationships with specific cemeteries and can assist with arrangements.

Pre-planning your own funeral arrangements — choosing a cemetery, documenting your wishes, even pre-paying — is a kindness to your family that spares them difficult decisions during a time of grief.

The Guiding Principle

The overarching principle of Jewish burial and mourning is kavod ha-met — honor for the deceased. Every custom, from the simple shrouds to the wooden casket to the communal shoveling, serves this principle. The dead are treated with dignity, returned to the earth with love, and remembered with the full weight of communal support.